Well, I’ve been living from what-is not what-should, must, need, or better be. It’s a wonderful world. I’m just living… contented, and clarity follows… as a matter-of-fact-ly with no efforting required. The key is to get used to, emotionally, not living from expectation and just being ok.
So, one day I was spending my time following idle pursuits, when I read this comparison. It reminded me of a time when I did the same a while back, twice: once to leave Emacs Lisp for Common Lisp, and once gain from that to Clojure. I thought: oh, this should be good. Since it settled on newLisp I wanted to check it out. It was very intriguing. After some pause and feeling “troubled” for a while, I think I’m getting glimmers of clarity… about myself, my interests, and general pursuits. This article helped.
I think about many possible systems as a way of expressing interest. I finally realize that for what it is, and not as realities I have to “recon with”. This includes my very interest in programming. That really calmed me down. With newLisp I realized that I already have a decent and agile environment to deploy anything as a typical sysadmin / armchair programmer / scripter. Essentially, I can extend the paid work I currently do from Visual Basic and Office applications to light websites, file systems, network coordinated applications, GUI applications, and wherever else a typical scripting language could take me.
That was troubling. But since I live in a trouble-free world, I quickly realized that my true interest is in spending time itching away at this mountain to shape it into one of those cities in stone. Well, maybe not a big mountain and a city, but a little one and a little stone building… but it’s that act itself. That’s not an ephemeral interest. I would really like to see that through... outside of time. I know, those two sentences cancel each for the mind, but it’s true for my feelings.
I’d like to spend my time itching away at an “ideal IDE” mountain, period. And its Clojure and Eclipse. I'm not really interested in building any of the systems I constantly conceive. I already have that scratch itched at work using the scripting language I already now. Right now, I am really only interested in spending time on this ideal IDE idea I'm trying to reveal in the rock.
Wow, it’s really nice to be this clear.