Limited Intelligence & Active Machinery

Eternal Copyright

2012-02-21T15:44:00.000-08:00

A very nice tong in cheek.

Standards Based Web Apps

2012-02-21T15:41:00.002-08:00

I always thought that Web Apps should be standards based such that they are as close as possible to native apps... or seen differently they should seem like the next evolution over/after desktop apps.

I'm glad that others agree with me.

Modern Salt Shaker

2012-02-04T17:18:00.000-08:00

I think I also saw a building somewhere that looked like this. Designed in Germany but of course made where everything else is made.

Web Development

2012-01-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

I guess web development, or more broadly mobile development, seem to be what people think of when recalling what programming means. It makes sense. That’s how people mostly hear of a certain computer service… through networks and mobile devices. That's also how it is most effective socially.

To me, programming is a way to have an empowered “conversation” with a computer. This means:

Maximum power (a desktop)
Native / cross-platform (Eclipse / Java)
A joyous language (Clojure)
Maximum re-usability (open source)

Everything else, for me, stems from there. I would not enjoy web development if I did not have the above core setup and “conversation”. I might enjoy it at first; I might even be excited to earn some badges about it. But it’ll feel like "developing for something" not developing for its own sake and with no support or reward for the development process itself.

That’s important to me. It is like I’m alive because I am. I do everything else as a function of that to increase the quality of that, not for what I do. It is like tying everything back to a relationship to the now. I never let what I’m doing be ever more important than the now and the joy I can cultivate in it.

Similarly, I enjoy the said “conversations” I have with a computer. If it is so dumb that I have to repeat everything over and over again and I seem to not grown from the process, then it is just as bad as merely working for one’s wages and agreeing to “checkout” 8 hours a day of your life for mere pennies.

This clarity is giving me renewed interest and focus on my project and my usual distractions of "things to be" are less potent these days. I’m very grateful for that.

Native Mobile Cross-platforms

2012-01-17T12:05:00.000-08:00

This is nice: one, two, and three. It is like Eclipse’s SWT but for the “mobile stuff” out there; or like Java across desktop operating systems. Maybe by the time I’ll get to it, I could just focus on one cross-platform and still be effective. But today I’m still enjoying good old fashioned desktop development in the form of an IDE. It is very enjoyable.

Things To Build

2012-01-15T16:11:00.000-08:00

Today I asked myself, if I don't have to work for money and I have the technical skills I require, what would I do with my life. My answer was very illuminating. I said I'd like to build 4 things.

A system involved in law automation. An alternative currency system. A collaborative dating system. Some sort of a commercial system that comes with an entrepreneurial experience. And finally, what I'm working on now, a unique and very satisfying and highly customisable and (eventually) collaborative development environment.

One false system, that I think would still be cool, came up: an office suite scripting setup for business processes. But that's just what I do now using MS Office for work. I'm just wishing it to be different, but it would not be relevant to the intent or work that way, hence it is false but cool nonetheless and could still work somehow but I'm not committed to it.

It was fun to realize the above 4 things. Although part of me thinks the commercial system might just be a thought of intrigue that if I were stronger I would not be seduced by it. But I'll leave it there... for it could be how I would not need to work for money.

Eclipse Plug-in in Clojure

2012-01-07T00:56:00.000-08:00

I found this. I think the references are interesting for later.

The feel for myself is to continue on this path from features, to plug-in, to RCP, to OSGi compliance, to changing Eclipse in clojure without needing to make Eclipse into an RCP that is no longer Eclipse. Although eveything is an option once I arrive closer to it. It might not make sense to allow regular Eclipse plug-ins to freely operate in the end product. Although that is essnetially what I want when I eye things like a GUI builder, SVN clinet... etc.

So, I don't know. This is a distant bone that my mind wants to chew on now when I'm not coding but still want to code "virtually" in my head. I'd like to direct it to more immediate bones, which it is accepting... or just calm down as a practice.

Eat What You Kill

2012-01-01T11:16:00.000-08:00

Although I disagree with the sentiment of this article, I agree with the characterization of "going into the wild" and "never coming back" and the "pencil factory" and being "spoon fed".

For my new year, I am starting a 3 to 6 year journey towards that way of life, one step at a time... just like how I achieved the transformation of my new place over time and maintaining the joy of the whole inside the various parts; not by anticipation but by doing every part for itself.

Also, on the side, I'd like to open the door for a romantic intake or chance... once a month.

What I'm leaving behind, symbolically speaking, in 2011 is: self-doubt or worthlessness or "I'm not good enough" or the like.

What I became good at last year is noticing the many forms that takes in my life, the triggers, knowing that I can replace that old structure with confidence as a choice with no cause, and realizing that it takes practice to keep it there and improve it.

I'm much happier this year.

The Power of People vs. Schemes of Control

2011-12-16T20:22:00.001-08:00

A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timing so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which can’t be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down to the supermarket don’t get pissed off and buy another product instead.

Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.

The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution — on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done to re-start the line.

A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. “That’s some money well spent!” – he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.

It turns out, the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. It should’ve been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren't picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.

Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed.

A few feet before the scale, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin.

“Oh, that,” says one of the workers — “one of the guys put it there ’cause he was tired of walking over….. “every time the bell rang”.

I Am Enough

2011-12-15T15:06:00.000-08:00

This is a good talk that helped me, in part, get out of a situation where my sense of self was intertwined with my job. Although it was rightfully so, the strong reaction I got at an “I told you so” moment made me realize how I needed my boss to see what I did and how it mattered. I felt that was one way of living, where I say: it *is* frustrating to deal with such limited, blinded, task-oriented boss that only cares about her part of the job and nothing of human involvement. Yes, she should “acknowledge” what I did. Yes, I need to help *her* do her job even though it is her job to help me, because the bastard cannot help me.

But a better way is to take my personal triumph and quietly and very confidently add to my never-ending river of self-validation that needs no other to bestow and bequeath that honor upon me. To feel so strong when the moment comes and point it out if I felt like it. To even in an opposite moment at a year-end evaluation where that may not be seen and may be even devalued, I would happily pack my bags and leave and be ok loosing that easy income and NOT take it as an indictment on me. And be confident I can do well anywhere I go because...

I am enough.

Applying it at Home

2011-12-11T01:14:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was asked "what I program" by an interested friend. I had to use the metaphor of how a word processor is a kind of editor that automates the parts to writing English essays and how I'm creating an editor that helps me program in my favorite language by streamlining the parts I like to be in my programming habits.

The moment I did that, my brain went wild. I immediately jumped into law automation, my favorite lost realm. It looks like others wish for that, too. Metaphorzing what I do is a slippy slope in my head. I was infected with it for a while.

First I'd like to share some reminders that helped me get out of it. Then I'll share the question that stumped and silenced it and helped focus and re-shape it for the better. It's a good reminder that the current startup world is a little bit "flip"-oriented, here. And that other alternatives to the prime gate to that, VCs, exists... here. Finally, it's not all fun and games, but lots of hardship, but it also depends on how you frame it, here.

The question that saved me from my mind freeze in la-la land was: how could my "purported" ideas for automating law apply in exact parallel ways to software? There. Think about that for a while. Hard, isn't it, to swallow one's own bitter pill.

...

I think I gotta acknowledge how case law tells you exactly how everything should be, down to exactly the range of what coffee temperature should be when served. And it's all supplied in a highly stylized manner. I think it is important to acknowledge the irresistability of all that... and just deal with it after I direct the cannon at myself first.

How can I parse new projects? Can I use documentation and use instructions to re-purpose a project? Can I recompile an algorithm in a different language? Voice recognition aside, can I use natural language as a limited domain interface? Can I have smart GUI tools that go beyond syntax highlighting, code references, completions, reminders of method definitions, error detection and debugging? What would that be like? Can I have enough tooling to make many projects fast, or a large project manageable by one person? Can I embed a kind of engine that could auto-correct "obvious" errors? Can I direct the engine towards an unknown project and have it manage it, as well; maybe even change it as needed?

That kind of stuff... first. I must also resist all social implications and focus on making them relevant in the first place. Goodness, so many things to be distracted with. But it's ok. I think I can do it.

That's what I Remember

2011-12-01T14:41:00.001-08:00

That's what I liked about him. Yes, I almost forgot why I even paid attention to the guy and was disturbed that he took this too far on the "jerk" and "control" scales. But that's what I remmeber.

When you grow up you tend to get told the world is the way it is and you're life is just to live your life inside the world. Try not to bash into the walls too much. Try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money.

That's a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.

Once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.

Source

Self-Taught "Geek" Prospects

2011-11-28T11:03:00.001-08:00

This is a good discussion to focus on what's involved in taking this route, which I seem to be on... in some way.

http://ask.slashdot.org/story/11/11/28/0423238/how-does-a-self-taught-computer-geek-get-hired

Search for this quote:

I'm not trying to build the next Apple. I'm just making a living, and it seems to be working quite well.

Freedom of Speech

2011-11-25T14:44:00.001-08:00

Gotta love freedom of speech.

Ok to Increase Technology

2011-11-18T09:53:00.001-08:00

Oh, thank god someone is saying something I agree with about this.

Large corporations that eliminated employees in the name of outsourcing and automation are now facing increasingly stiff competition from small businesses with access to these same efficiency-enhancing tools.

I sometimes get worried about such things and end up buying books upon books on the subject only to get alarmist rhetoric. But I like the above article.

One area I won't shed a tear on in automating, short term or long term, is this.

Yanbu Once More

2011-11-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

I saw this, and though it is close to the cusp of admittance to the 70 picture count shrine I have for the city in my collection, I thought I'd just post it here instead.

I some times feel that I code in part as an homage or a tribute or a reenactment of Yanbu itself: its order, beauty, function... but in code instead of concrete and superb modern architectural design.

Yes, I'm biased. But I cannot deny how wonderful this is to me.

Kindle DX Custom Screensaver

2011-10-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, this works well. I'm very happy.

A Conversation with A Computer

2011-10-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

I posted this originally on July 20, 2011...

Here is a conversation with the ship computer from Star Trek Next Generation, season 3, episode 25...

Data    : Computer, run transformational matrix calculations. Match navigational referents to known stars in this sector.
Computer: Information on this sector is incomplete. No correlation.
La Forge: I'm not giving up yet. Not after coming so close to cracking this thing. You know, that might be flight path information from John's ship, but without a frame of reference, I can't determine its origin points.
Data    : "Computer, assume those paths are course corrections and derive gravitational values for stellar objects near those flight paths." Most of these are ordinary G-type stars. This would appear to be a neutron star, possibly a pulsar.
La Forge: Which means that this might be a rotational time reference.
Data    : "Computer, assume these symbols are pulsars. Translate associated values into standard temporal notations. Computer, is there a pulsar with a rotational period of one point five two four four seconds within sensor range?"
Computer: "Affirmative."
La Forge: "Bingo! Now, Computer, overlay navigational chart using referenced pulsars and project a flight path back to it's origin."
Computer: "Flight path originated at bearing zero zero three, mark zero one five. Distance, two point three parsecs.

I think making this is possible and very joyous to bring about.

... end of previous post.

And now we have that in existence.

Luckily, I'm encouraged not discouraged by this. Because I enjoy my own "conversations" with a computer through Eclipse in Ecicpip. I once told a friend, it is like working with an interactive novel instead of passively reading it.

I think all software should have a conversational interface just like we would expect a GUI or a command-line interface for most functionality in software. A conversational interface that links to a "mothership" of sorts in case it cannot resolve something... should be expected.

Dan Ingalls, of Smalltalk the computer language, seems to agree. From "Coders at Work" by Peter Seibel.

We've gotten incredibly good with the programming systems and the languages we know. What if we were that good with logic programming? And had it integrated well? I think we would be doing extraordinarily more stuff in much more of a human-oriented space. It does go in the direction of artificial intelligence. [...]

So you take that and put it against all sorts of possibilities in logic programming, in rule-based systems, and artificial intelligence, and you have to know there's lots of progress to be made there. [...] What is a kernel apart from the language and the user interface? What other kernels are there? What if you build a kernel around logic programming [...] and what kinds of things can you do with that? I don't think that people are playing around with, tinkering with that stuff enough.

And yes, with all the hoopla about automation and the fear it generates, people forget its shortfalls. But that's a different subject. I'm just excited for the possibility of ubiquitous conversational computer interfaces.

Resultant Commitments

2011-10-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

I wanted to examine my current commitments because I’d really like to add one, if I can do it right.

Sometimes we are committed to things like “keeping up with tech news” if we are addicted to say “Tech Crunch”. Or I might be committed to “being informed about liberal political news” if I always keep up with "the Huffington Post"… etc. which are both a commitment to a kind of "mental masturbation" if you pardon the phrase. More pervasively, I could be committed to ensuring I always feel the lack of control I grew up with; So, I cultivate actions and attitudes that stifle me and limit me to a chronic lack of fulfillment.

My recent realization about, and newly found reduced commitment to work, left me with a lot more energy and freedom. So, I’d like to change my commitments.

No change to the following.

Continue eating well
Continue saving for retirement
Continue tending to my place and routines
Continue my casual reading
Continue my blogging
Continue attending my support group
Continue keeping in touch with family and friends
Continue tending to myself and my spirituality
Continue breaking my routines and indulging every once in a while

Some of these things are part of my life and not an "active commitment" anymore. Here’s what I’d like altered.

Continue exercising but limit to every other day. Sometimes I get carried away and think I should do it every day. It’s not like I ever act on it, but I’d like to ensure that I don’t give it more space than simply every other day and no back-filling if I miss.

Continue working at my current job, but switch to strict hours (8-5), limit caring and stress during those hours, look professional, and allow for doing other things than what I’m good at. In other words, turn my work into a mere job I’m paid to do that I happen to secondarily enjoy, not my life or my career. It is not a career.

Limit watching TV to 1 show a weekday and 2 movies a weekend day.

Embrace and expect events. If friends want to go for dinners, vacation, trips, drives, movies… etc. or I find other events to attend… I’d like to go for it and embrace it and not consider that an impediment to other things. It is a new commitment.

Here is what I’d like eliminated.

Eliminate reading blogs, news, and discussion forums. Move any remaining desire for that into occasional routine-breaking. I really don’t want to fill my free minutes with that. If I have a few free minutes I’d like to read passages from my books or better yet just let it be quiet and think and do nothing or tend to other things.

Eliminate any active steps towards dating or romantic relationships. Move any remaining desire there into events that I occasionally initiate. This social activity is so exhausting to me. I think I finally would like to embrace the fact that most of the people I know and respect are either single or have always been single.

Here is what I’d like added.

I’d like to add a habit of trusting what the moment brings, what my skills provide, and the is-ness of my surroundings, feelings, circumstances and the like. Make whatever I’m in primary. And whatever I’m planning or projecting or thinking and remembering secondary.

I’d like to add a firm and real commitment to Ecicpip. I’d like to take it more seriously and think of it more visibly and consider it more often. And just give it chunks of 30 minutes here and there and large chunks of my weekend. But I’d like to stop (completely stop) the moment I turn it into something else and examine that. The moment I feel it is a career alternative, a resume builder, a peers' showcase, a dreams fulfiller, a world savior, or even a life meaning creator… I’d like to stop immediately and do something (anything) else. It must be protected from that pollution, and god knows I have a lot of that.

Career Planning

2011-10-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

I came to realize that I live my life from a belief of:

I’m not in control
I’m no good
Everything is dire

And I believe in them in a self-fulfilling way. I make my life events such that the above become true for me. For example, I consider being there on time or early as relinquishing control to whomever I made the appointment with, even though I believe in being early, myself, in general. So, I end up “defying them” which only prompts them to act in a way that could be easily understood as “asserting control” over me… which only reinforces the idea.

As for the second one, it is very subtle; all my success is a kind of running away from that belief. It does not take me long to somehow agree that I’m useless or worthless or unworthy or simply unfit and no good, even when people tell me to my face that it is not true. I’ll find reasons to make it true especially when I’m not engaged in something… and it is very easy for “doings”; just re-apply them in the wrong context. And I’ve always thrust myself in the wrong context because I felt I won’t fit-in the right context because I won’t be any good. This only makes me not fit-in more which only reinforces the idea. Although it helps to be a “big fish in a small pond”… but I somehow turn it so that it is not good so that I am no good.

And that last one, it just seems to follow me wherever I go, whatever I see. I somehow set myself up as a hero with all the weight of the world on my shoulders, which only crushes and oppresses me even further, which add to my direness which only reinforces the idea.

I think that much of life - on this plane of existence - is a kind of self-fulfilling view. If it’s not one thing it is something else. There has to be something. So, I think it is helpful to:

First acknowledge and take responsibility for what operating beliefs I already have
Then realize that I can put-in another view simply by practice and remembering
Finally, I’d like to put-in a pointer to the ultimate nothingness of all things

… which is a kind of something. It is a kind of “living towards” that is fulfilled and fulfilling… every moment. It isn’t nihilistic; it is not negative. Rather, just as it sounds but very positive. Obviously, it is not in my words but what the words point to instead.

This is a replacement of dying with living. It is not logical, not causal, and follows no reason. The previous self-fulfilling patterns are centered around pain from childhood, which is inevitable. I had to be run by my father. He only knew how to do it by exerting and imprinting control, which still remains with me. His world was so fragile that it was really dire for him when I did not conform to his world. And yes, that would make me no good and unfit.

All of this is not his fault. I think these are common human conditions that could be easily internalized no matter how “enlightened” a parent is. No matter how much a child grows, there will always be something they are not in control of. They will always be unfit for something. Things do become dire. It is easy to internalize any one of these and more. Any boy do I have a lot of pain in me. Some of it is due to sensitivity and some not current sensitivity but old, echoes of old senses. Some are from self-assertions of a weak ego… which brings me back to why I wrote this entry.

So, I understand that a lot of this is the pain speaking, but there is a legitimate question in there about what I want to do with my career that an incident at work brought up.

I guess the economy is catching up with my current workplace, or it seems to do so in my area. A primary client, for which I was hired for my familiarity with them and having strong pertinent analytical skills… is winding down. There was fear that I might have to be “re-purposed”. What I’m good at, if not augmented with other skills pertaining to what the practice is known for, might not be utilized well.

This is good for 2 reasons. I can prove to myself, once and for all that I’m really “not good” for what I already know, “am good” period and can be good at something new. And these people are willing to have me learn. The other thing is that these people still want me to stay, whereas others might just let me go and hire to the correct cog “ready-made”.

The not so good is that I’d be stepping away from computers and more into document review and analysis for legal support. I have to decide for myself if that means giving up what I normally do (data analysis in the context of project management) and if that means getting away from where I’d like to go for sure (eventually): computer automation of documents analysis.

Wait a minute.

Hmm. Did not think it would work that way. I just saw that it will be less computer intensive, which is true; when really it is going into an area of application and interest of automation. This way I’d do it by hand, which is the right thing to start off with. I guess there is no problem at all!

Well. This is reminding me that… and bringing up that…

I am bored with what I know how to do well, in any company context
I am tired with the corporate model for earning a living, in any setting
I want something new, but I think I want it in more tech not less
I’m not “high-tech” enough to self-sustain a startup but I want to.

This is helpful. I was thinking that I could:

Continue with my current company
Not look for new work because it is all the same
OR look for work in the startup sector and let go of my stability.

In Don McNay’s Wealth without Wall St. he asks (my paraphrasing):

Can you handle yourself with irregular income?
Can you handle free time and open work hours?
Do you have something that calls you to work on?
Are you truly satisfied working the way you do?

My answers are yes to all the above. I know how to setup a “salary” for myself. I know how to divide up my time. There is something that calls me to do it. And I’m sure I can leave the structured and impersonal and artificial corporate structure I have.

But the last one does not feel oppressive and is largely setup in may favor. I am pursuing my “interests” in my sporadic spare time. And I keep a good schedule. And I am saving for retirement. So, the questions are not producing something automatic. I still have to have a will to move into something else. The only thing that will push me to do something is a squeeze at my workplace or if I was laid off. Then I’ll have to deal with my panic and what’s next. But that’s not what I want.

I’d like to choose to leave, not feel pushed to, even though I can choose from inside being pushed. But I can choose from inside not being pushed, from within indifference, from within “all hunky-dory” for now.

I think I wrote this entry because I want to make it a priority in my life to develop my strategy for what’s next for me after consulting and taking it more seriously and make it more real. I got reminded of this desire by a little squeeze at work. I thank the heavens for it.

Message delivered. I wonder what I can do about it, feel from it, create for it, or live from it. I’ll see next.

Being in Time

2011-10-26T17:56:00.000-07:00

From the TV show Medium, quotes by Patricia Arquette as Alison Dubois...

All this time you are choosing to be angry, is time that you could have spent being happy; time just gone... and you never get it back.

There is a second… Gone. You'll never have it again.

There… There's another one, just wasted. We wasted it just holding on to anger. Know this; tomorrow when you wake up, you're gonna be a day closer to whatever you want. And you're gonna get that... whether you are angry or not. It's your choice.

And…

Time is priceless, yet it costs us nothing. You can do anything you want with it, but you can’t own it. You can spend it, but you can’t keep it. And once you’ve lost it, there is no getting it back. It’s just gone.

Wills & Trusts

2011-10-12T12:57:00.001-07:00

I’m reading a book that got me to think about putting together my will in the face of all the possible complications that could happen after death. Now, if I’m dead, I’m dead. It won’t matter who takes the money in what percentages or if it does not get distributed at all.

But I thought, let me take inventory anyway. So, I listed my “assets” and my “recipients”. I included my “anticipated debts” and “non-tangible assets”. It was fun. I then went into a “directives” area, where I would instruct the estate to take on “projects” and my project was to allocate an amount to get a Clojure consulting company or person to do the following.

Create a basic Java-based plug-in for Eclipse that allows for creating Eclipse plug-ins in Clojure… even if it means re-packaging all of Eclipse RCP to do that.
Use that to re-create and re-write the above in Clojure, i.e. create a plug-in creating RCP written in Clojure that can help you create plug-ins for Eclipse.
Extend the improvements process of the above to a web-framework, where all your changes are shared and you can subscribe to other people’s changes.

My thinking was, if I’m going to die now, and this document is going to carryout my will and intentions, then I’m going to *spend* whatever money I have left to fund a project to do something I care about… if I cannot do it myself.

But then I remembered that when I’m dead, I’m dead! It won’t matter what I have achieved or not achieved. So the epiphany was that this is a reiteration of a project to do in my life (for my death, maybe) not after my death. So, it was nice to be clear that given a wonderful and a fulfilled and fulfilling life, I’d like to spend some time doing this… as a choice, from a place of choice because I want to not because I have to or need to.

I think I’d like that very much.

Tech Crowd Standards

2011-10-08T15:19:00.000-07:00

I'm a tech person. My people used to be self-indulgent when we came in power. Think of a very bureaucratic and unkind person in a government office with little recourse elsewhere or around him. That's how we became in the "Age of Gates". I appreciate the "Age of Jobs" where now I'd think: how can I make this more intuitive, fuss-free, and a unified experience; instead of: I did this work, the least you could do is figure out how to use it... if you are smart enough.

But that's my adaptation of the what was given to us in this new age. Otherwise, I'll let my brethren speak for me. To be honest, some of them would not consider me "tech" enough. But I consider them distant family all the same. Together, I feel wary when we are unseated in favor of the masses. When what we do is replaced by an unchangeable, corporate, one-size-fits-all design that caters to the most basic and common standards of vain; straight from the book of fashion and apparel. It is very usurping especially when it is justified with our own core mantra: it gets the job done. And it does not help when my non-tech-savvy friends come to me for help despite the "superior design".

I guess even the "lords of automation" can fear automation just like all other professions. Who would have thought... Anyway, this is what I sent a friend one day: Why you are banned from Apple Devices.

Because when they fail, both you and I feel helpless. With non-Apple products, only you may feel helpless when they fail but I can help you. Because I'm not "disallowed" by the "grand design".

Article abridged:

Although you won’t find any Apple users who will admit it, Macs do occasionally crash and fail, sometimes in spectacular ways. [...] If your Mac [...] hard drive has failed [...] Internet Recovery takes over automatically. It downloads and starts Lion Recovery directly from Apple servers [...].

Apple is making itself the net admin and switching from a local protocol to a remote one, that’s all. [...] This shouldering by Apple of bandwidth and administrative duties for non-power users is certainly indicative of their upcoming iCloud and iTunes strategies.

They’ve got motive and opportunity [...] to shift pretty much all your content server-side, including [...] the OS itself. [...] They’re taking responsibility away from the user [...] Obscuring the inside of the machine has been a priority for Apple for a decade. This is just another [...] portion of their moving everything but the very facade of their devices away from the grasp of the user, for good or ill.

But with a little bit of catering to the masses attitude from within the tech culture itself as a core value, not from outside it, we all can be better. And we won't have to worry about another "evil empire" eating our children and such fears that can easily be misunderstood as: you're just jealous... simplistic thinking.

Anyway, I've been wanting to admit this for a while. I dislike some parts, but I appreciate way more. And I don't think I'll be automated out of existence. My value is unpredicted on things outside me.

Of course, only later I discovered that I acted and lived from a world where my value was contingent on many factors outside myself, and most of all the very difficult task of "making it work" for someone else. Otherwise, I'm useless, I felt... and that's the worst fate anyone can get. So, I admitted that to my friend and told him: if it'll make you happy 80% of the time when it is working but make both you and I unhappy the remaining 20%, I'll take that in favor of any combination of fractions that amount to the reverse. I want your everyday well-being to be maximized. Because he really gets upset, almost road-rage like, when his computer fails. And I thought that was my problem automatically and only re-enforced my feelings of being useless which I was re-reinforcing by coming at it from a place of rebellion against a company that simply figured out a product that I used to perform and many people needed help with.

City of Origin

2011-10-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

This is a tribute to my city of origin.

I grew up in a beautifully designed city with a modern architecture style of the 60s and 70s. Can you imagine? The designs normally limited to mansions by a coast and involving expensive architects was made available to the masses in a third world country throughout my childhood.

First it was my parents and myself in one of these "small family" units.

Then we moved to a townhouse elsewhere.

Here is an areal view showing some of the villas in the same style of the neighborhood. You are also looking at a portion of my high school. That is its pool.

Every school day, I went through here.

To go to this primary school.

Adjacent to this... whatever it is.

And yes, I had to go to this nearby mosque. Thanks to the lady who took these pictures of herself.

I enjoyed going to this McDonald's.

Then I went to this middle school.

Here is an areal view showing a nearby mall I used to go to after most school days.

Rotating a bit is where my van-pool driver lived, I think.

And this is where I went to summer school and the neighborhood where a friend lived. They had steep carpeted stairs we used to slide down over and over again.

Going back towards my neighborhood from here, you had to pass by "bachelor housing" in one neighborhood...

Onto "high-density housing" or apartments in a different neighborhood right next to mine.

Which had lots of space for congregating and kids.

Not to mention how wonderfully, whimsically, and simplistically it was designed... at least in certain parts of it like this streetlight shining over a random bench next to a parking lot facing a wall with a grid of holes.

And that's the end of the photo tour. Of course, I never really want to go back there physically. The city is run down now. Look at the paint. And that's just minor damage.

And it is really much different than what I think or remember. The city lives in the decaying present. My memories are from the past and live in me. For example, this is how my middle school really looks like compared to an earlier much more romantic shot.

The whole city is just a bunch of parcels... in the middle of sand, built by royal declaration (read: money), for much higher economic reasons than mere beauty, and had to be nursed through 4 reigns. But this is how I see it, because I grew up there and I love it.

Alas, I wouldn't choose to socialize with the inhabitants, nor they me. But the memories and nice feelings remain and live on in the image of this style of architecture and whatever triggers it. Most importantly, they live in me and symbolize inner joy which I can now summon using this imagery anytime I forget, or locate it in anything I see.

Ahh, I miss you my dear city.

Memories

2011-10-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

In this game, there are seven 3-D blocks shaped in specific ways meant to make various shapes on cards. I was playing around trying to solve a shape puzzle from one of the cards, but I ended up making this interesting looking corner. It reminded me of my city of origin. Maybe I'll make a tribute to it later.

Front view

Back view

Yes, modern architecture. I'm a very big fan. You can't blame me. I lived in a completely-designed and well thought-out urban environment. What luck to be able to read about my very childhood neighborhood from some architecture book. No, I'm middle class. I lived in one of the townhouses, not the villas. You'll see more when I show you the city later.

The truth is - I'm discovering - it's not really about the architecture, although it is pretty. And it's not about the city, although it is nostalgic. It is about the memories. And those exist in the past... and that resides in me. And that is an innate vehicle for joy. And what I'd like to remember is that comes from me and is within me... every moment; not from a decaying, prefabricated city-project, in a desert, in some third world, closed, oil rich country.